We’ve been living in the 21st century where people want to be termed as modern and intellectually strong. Technologically and economically, we have grown as a society and will continue to grow for that is a continuous process. While we always compare the negatives of the past and see how they have turned to positive, there are certain things that were positive but today have become more than just negative. They have become an abuse for the society and ironically it nowhere matches the so-called modern tag of people. I wonder if we have grown intellectually, why we have created some obvious perceptions about some women who are into the prostitution business. Yes, that’s the word of the entire blog: Prostitutes or Porn Stars or every woman who is into this business. While I personally felt that the youth at least should have a different perspective towards these women, I was shocked to realize that the people of the same age group as mine look up to these women as abuse or “kharab aurat”. Maybe this was the moment I felt that I cannot expect people to look through my eyes and think that every woman who’s a porn star or a prostitute is at the end of the day a woman. A woman who might have some reasons to be there, selling herself and a woman who’d probably had to go back home to her family waiting for food.
Earlier today I was into a conversation with some friends and out of somewhere I just popped up a question about the Karenjit Kaur web series. That simple question deviated the topic towards prostitution not because we discussed it but because all of them said: “women into flesh business are bad women (kharab aurat).” That one line led me into a question mark not on the society but the fact that why can’t we look the other side of the coin? I have seen people wondering that women into flesh business are tools to use for they are no more real women. The question arises: What makes someone a real woman and what is the definition of the same? Let’s take a very clear picture of things as per whatever I have observed so far. For society, a real woman is someone who stays in her own shell of dignity and respect. But which book says that a prostitute or porn star has no dignity? The society says that a good woman should always bend in front of the desires or wishes of a man and only then she will be an ideal woman. But if a woman ends up bending her knees in front of helplessness, is she a lesser woman? For society, a prostitute or porn star is someone who willingly sells her body to every other man. But isn’t it true that every time she sells her body, she breaks her soul into pieces? Even after being the literate society, we are unable to respect the professional choices of women who choose to be in this business? Is it their birth fate to be there or maybe it is just helplessness? How can people be so judgemental about their personality just by their profession? Even a porn star or prostitute has a family for whom she is the last ray of hope maybe and that’s why she is out there satisfying people.
Before we question their profession, we need to ask ourselves who formed this profession in society? If I look back at the older times, I remember reading about Devdaasi who dedicated their lives to God and performed at temples. They had their own respect and dignity and were considered nothing less than divine. Gradually, people witnessed Courtesans who were invited by the Kings and Nawabs for dance and music purposes. They had their own respect and dignity and were not meant for anything beyond dance. Upholding their dignity, they came in palki’s and were present at every important function of the society. Gradually, society began to change and men forgot the inception of these women. The concept of Devdaasi was misused by people in the South and girls after being dedicated to God were sent off for flesh business to gain money. Yes, it’s the society who converted the purest form of women into a piece of flesh meant for slaughter. Courtesans who had their own reputation gradually became prostitutes who were forced to sell their bodies instead of being dancers or performers. That too was the idea of men who wanted to get their desires fulfilled by women and therefore they objectified them. Initially, they did it forcefully but gradually they began to use the helplessness of women into prostitution. The courtesans of the Nawabs who were just performers in today’s era became flesh toys for the men who hardly remember their roots. I just have two questions: who is to be blamed? The women who were forced to sell themselves or the men who created a prostitute out of a Devdaasi or Courtesan? Who is more wrong: The woman who sits helplessly at the brothel waiting to get out of that darkness or the man who comes there regularly ditching his wife just for the sake of lust and desires? Why is the society so hypocrite that on one end men abuse those women in the daylight and then observe their authority on them in the night?
Well, there are many things to notice if people think that not every woman out there is objectifying herself by her wish. Every porn star has a story she hides behind that flesh and every prostitute hides her helplessness and tears in those screams. At the end of the day, she is equally a woman as us for she is not objectifying her body but she is portraying her strength. Ask a man if he is strong enough to sell himself for the sake of his family or maybe any other helplessness? A real woman is the epitome of inner strength and patience and every woman in the flesh business has strength beyond our imagination. She has the strength to fight not the society but herself every night and that’s her real struggle. She hides from the society in those dark lanes or behind that camera in the porn industry but fights the criticism alone every minute. No matter what profession she is into, she will remain a woman who is nature herself. She will remain a mother, a sister and a daughter to her family and most importantly to God. When I say positives have turned to negative, it is because the divine Devdaasi have been turned to prostitutes and more of an abuse. If we need to grow as a society, we need to realize that it’s we who have made prostitution an abuse and it’s we only who can change the myth that those women are bad. They are just helpless, just stronger than they seem and just need help to get out of that darkness.
At times I wonder, it’s just God who has seen the real misery and pain of these women who ironically may show everything but hide more than any other woman in this world. Maybe on Judgement Day, God will give justice to these women and punish those people who were the reason for their pain. Maybe then, they’ll be free from the chains of criticism and abuses. But we as humans, we could do anything we should either free these women or respect them for their strength. For the conclusion I just remember a dialogue from the web series Karenjit Kaur, “It needs GUTS to do it all.” That sums up the entire concept. I wish after reading this, maybe some perceptions change for a better beginning.